Cook: Interview

Feminism: In the Eyes of the Dancer

For over a century, the ideas and themes of feminism have been slowly but consistently developing. The ideas seemed to unite when brave women met at the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 despite harassment; however, the ideas these women seem safe and conservative in the eyes of the third wave feminists that occupy the feminist scene today. Although the third wavers are making tremendous strokes in promoting diversity and shattering the sexual double-bind many women face, not all women feel comfortable in fostering this freedom of sexuality; however, other women that will take this to what some people may see as an extreme, still feel restricted in letting the truth show in public or family settings. Even though my interviewee is a wonderful example of bringing down the sexual standard of women, this restriction keeps her from speaking out strongly about her past experience as a private model in a “gentleman’s club.”
The woman I interviewed, who I will refer to as Jane, has an interesting story to tell; unfortunately, she does not open up to many people because Jane fears a hostile response. “Some people, women and men, just are not accepting of my position. They look down on you and think you are nothing more than a prostitute, and that is in no way what I am,” Jane stated concerning the intolerant stance many people have on being a private model. Jane describes her childhood as very similar to others. Her parents are happily married, and at twenty-five years of age, Jane is the youngest of four siblings. The family identifies as a white, working class family in the Greensborough, North Carolina region. Her father worked very hard and continues to do so today, but he can not necessarily give his wife and four children all the monetary support they need. Jane’s mother, however, did not work while she was raising her children, and Jane feels she learned strength from her mother’s example. Jane’s tone of her mother was strong and respectful as she said, “Some people think that stay-at-home moms are just lazy and want a way out of working. My mom stayed with all of us, and I know this was not an easy thing to do.” When asked if her mother’s strength had anything to do with her choice to be a private model, Jane responded, “Yes, it definitely did. She showed me women could do what they wanted no matter how people in the world viewed them. Unfortunately, her idea of doing this and mine was quite different.” Being a private model and a stay at home mother are on different ends of the spectrum. I feel that both of these things let women make a choice and shows how diverse the third wave is. Jane feels that people in society often blame a poor upbringing to making poor choices of being a stripper or prostitute or private model, but Jane is an example of making a sexually choice of this matter can be the result of a strong upbringing. Jane always wanted to be the recipient of a college diploma, and she was determined to do so; however, with three other children and an inability to pay student loans, Jane decided to take a job as a private model in Greensborough. She worked for several years in two different clubs before saving enough to come to college. Starting at Appalachian State University, her education accelerated and she transferred to the University of Georgia to pursue her major of magazines. “It was a personal choice, and I saw it as a good opportunity to put myself through college. I did not want to have to rely on my parents and make my family go without for my benefit. I do not like being judged because I want to get an education and pursue a job in a different career,” declared Jane about her decision.
Exactly what feminism is defined as varies from wave to wave and from person to person. To Jane, the idea of feminism is all encompassed by a woman’s right to choose what she wants to do and the strength she has in accomplishing that choice. Jane made her choice in order to further her education, and she is often discriminated against because of this choice. Jane identifies as a third wave feminist and promotes the right to choice; this choice may even be outside of the societal norm. I asked Jane if she thought what she was doing could be considered a normal choice as it seems she could have taken other jobs instead of a private model. Jane simply responded, “What exactly is normal? Yes, I may have been able to find another job, but this seemed like the right thing to do to me. Other people look down on it, but they shouldn’t. They aren’t in my position so they cannot make my choice or decide if it’s normal.” Jane did agree that it is not a job that all women should take. It seems that women who partake in this career must be strong individuals that really believe in sexual freedom. To me, this is an extreme way to break down the sexual double bind; I think extreme is necessary in this case. Just because a woman chooses to work in a field like private modeling does not guarantee that society will approve and accept. Most people’s view on private modeling is poor, and I think that the media and music contributes to this. I asked Jane how she felt about the current rap music and their frequent references to exotic dancers in derogatory terms. Jane thinks that the music does contribute to the stereotype that women who work in these clubs are just “slutty” individuals and women with no morals. “They [the rappers] make out women like me to be low, and they talk about us like sex objects, so that’s what people think we are. This is not the case. I do not feel like a sex object when I am working; I just feel empowered and in control over my body. When I listen to the rap music, I do feel dirty and the words are so derogatory,” was the response I received about today’s current music scene. Women often talk about rap music as being offensive to women, and Jane is in the perfect position to tell about it. She can see both sides of the issue as a dancer and a woman in everyday society. It is this social rejection that causes Jane to hide the fact that she is a former private model. “That is just not the first thing people need to know about you. The sad truth is, people define me by it,” answered Jane to my question about being open in public. This is directly related to the concept we talked about it class. People often define women based on one fact, and there are many other things that compose an individual. Jane said she did not even feel comfortable telling her family at first, although she gained the inspiration from her mother. “I told my entire family at one time. I had been working for about three months before I let it out. It had to come off my chest. How was I supposed to think society would accept it if I could not even tell my own family. It was hard at first because I could see the disappointment. Eventually, they accepted what I was doing and supported me, but I knew they would never be completely okay with it,” Jane said while trying to hide a slight frown. Obviously, this was a rocky subject to Jane. She turned to her family for support in the issue, and they found it difficult to give it to her. However, they eventually did. If a few people can give different things a chance, then I think it will affect everyone. All people can become more accepting if they just allow themselves. Jane said she is starting to be more comfortable with the past job in presenting it to people, but it will never be the first thing to leave her mouth. As far as relationships with a partner, Jane feels it is not necessary that they know what she did in her past. “I would tell the man I was with much later in our relationship. By then, he would know if he really wanted to be with me. If he did, something like my past would not change it. If it changed things, I don’t need to be with him anyway!” Jane exclaimed about dating. Upon meeting Jane, it is obvious that she is not the type of woman that needs a relationship with a partner. She is happy on her own, and she functions just fine. I think some women fail to realize that they do not need to depend on a man. Jane has grasped this concept, and it makes her a stronger woman.
The future looks bright for feminism as progression is being made. Some women obviously feel comfortable doing things outside of what society sees as normal; however, many women are still being treated as if they were less than men. After being a private model, I wondered if Jane was dulled to this feeling of harassment or inequality. Jane responded, “No, I think I can see it better than ever now. The men were carefully monitored in the club to make sure we never felt uncomfortable or taken advantage of, and I knew what to look for. I notice things quicker now, like harassment, and have a feel when women seem uncomfortable.” Working in a club like this, Jane must have seen many things that would appear degrading to a normal eye. Jane has a first person account that she felt comfortable at her work, not degraded. In the future, more women will possibly feel comfortable in jobs like this, and it will become an acceptable position, similar to a nurse. As for now, most people do not approve of it; but I asked if it would be something to which she would like to return. “Probably not,” Jane sighed, “just because I did it to get an education and do something else with my life. I have nothing against it, and if a serious need came up, then I might.” When Jane returns home, certain people in the community are aware that she dances in these clubs. She says they receive her with “disapproving stares.” Jane hopes this will change in the future for women and people in general. “People have become more accepting of things, and I think they need time to accept this,” Jane says on the issue of people approving in the future. I completely agree with Jane, and think many things like this will become acceptable. It has happened in many cases. Sometimes, people just do not understand. Things are often stereotyped to mean something bad. Jane’s story and account should make people realize that these women that work in clubs are not bad human beings. Many of them are just trying to make a living or support something. Jane said many of the women she worked with were single mothers trying to support their child. After this interview, I realized that I often stereotyped women working in clubs. I thought they were just selling their body to men, but now I see this is not the case. Jane sees this as helping women feel comfortable with their body image and their sexuality.
Interviewing Jane was an interesting experience. We have been friends from the beginning of the semester, and I would have never assumed she used to be a model and dancer in a club. When she first admitted this to me, I was taken back and shocked. This is a reaction she must receive often, because she was not offended. She knew I was doing this interview for Women Studies, and she wanted her story told fully for the first time to people outside her family. Women like Jane hold a crucial key to understanding the third wave feminism. “Yes, I feel like I am helping a third wave agenda. I did not model for the men, I did it for myself. I am diversity, and it makes some people uncomfortable,” Jane replied to my question of if she was shaping a third wave agenda. There are many women like Jane all around, even if you do not recognize them. She is empowered and an independent woman. One day, I hope than Jane can freely tell her story without being afraid that people will judge her and condemn her. Once this acceptance has taken place, it will be obvious that feminism plays a vital role in our society in helping with acceptance. People like Jane will bring down the sexual double-bind.